School Rules?
by ArwenHermione
Summary: This is a very strange crossover, featuring me and taking place in my school. Please RR! Chapter five is now up.
1. Discovery of the F Dimension

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own any of these characters. However, I do own the wierd, sometimes twisted connections between the characters. All of them came from my wierd, sometimes twisted brain. Got it?  
  
Setting: The Author's School.  
  
Characters:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Legolas Greenleaf (from Lord of the Rings)  
  
Donald Duck (A Classic Disney Character)  
  
Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)  
  
Dory (from the new Disney movie, Finding Nemo)  
  
Hello Kitty (Popular Japanese Cartoon Character)  
  
Hamtaro (from the Anime show, Hamtaro)  
  
Big Bird (from the T.V. show, Sesame Street)  
  
Spongebob (from the cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants)  
  
Barney (evil purple dinosaur that says super-dee-duper -_-)  
  
Spongebib Squarediaper (a creature of my own creation, Spongebob's little brother)  
  
The Author (writer of this story, known in this story as Lizzy.)  
  
Author's note: Please remember that Lizzy's thoughts and feelings are not my own. Lizzy is me in the fact that she looks just like me and acts just like me. But, she doesn't share my feelings or thoughts. All right. We just had to make that clear.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Lizzy was walking down the hallway in her school, carrying her binder, humming to herself. She was on her way to her favorite class, English. None of her friends were around. Random people were bumping into her, yelling at her, throwing paper airplanes at her, and otherwise being harassing. She ignored them, however, for she was too happy today to let that stuff bother her. Oh, who was she kidding? It did bother her. She closed her eyes and wished hard that there were only nice people in this school. Little did she know that her wish would come true, but in a strange and twisted way....  
  
Lizzy walked into her English classroom and sat down. She looked up at the blackboard, and saw the name "Mr. Bird" on it.   
  
"Oh, a substitute teacher. I hope he's nice." said Lizzy.  
  
"Hello class!" said the teacher as he walked into the room.  
  
Lizzy looked up. Her teacher was fuzzy and yellow.... he was a bird! But, the substitute was not only a bird, he was none other than Big Bird!   
  
She looked around. None of the other students in her class seemed to think that this was wierd.   
  
"Well, if they don't think this is wierd, I shouldn't either." she said to herself.  
  
yat you get to have Big Bird teaching your English class!  
  
After the class was over, "Mr. Bird" called Lizzy to his desk.   
  
"Lizzy?" he said.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Bird?" said Lizzy.  
  
"You know why I'm teaching here today, don't you?" asked Mr. Bird.  
  
"Actually... no." said Lizzy.  
  
"Your wish." said Mr. Bird.  
  
"Wish? What wish?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"I believe your words were 'I wish there were only nice people in this school.' Now, your wish is going to come true." said Mr. Bird.  
  
"How can you say that? You don't know, Mr. Bird!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Please, call me Big Bird. And, you can't assume things. For your information, I was sent to bring 'nice people' to your school and get rid of all of the 'mean people.' In other words, I was sent to make your wish come true." said Big Bird.  
  
"Well, that's good." said Lizzy, dumbfounded.  
  
"Would you like a cookie?" asked Big Bird.  
  
"Um, all right." said Lizzy.  
  
Big Bird handed Lizzy a large chocolate chip cookie. She looked at it carefully.  
  
"Go on, eat it! It's not poison! Do you think that Big Bird would poison you with a cookie?" said Big Bird.  
  
"I guess not." said Lizzy, and she started to eat her cookie.  
  
"Now, go and have your lunch. I'm sure you will find many 'nice people' to have lunch with. If you have any problems, come talk to me." said Big Bird.  
  
Lizzy went to her locker. As she was taking her lunch out of it, someone came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around.  
  
"Yes?" she asked.  
  
The person who tapped her on the shoulder was Spongebob!  
  
"Hi Lizzy!" said Spongebob.  
  
"Um, hi, Spongebob." said Lizzy.  
  
"Wanna eat lunch with me?" asked Spongebob.  
  
"Sure." said Lizzy.  
  
She grabbed her lunch bag, and walked with Spongebob to the lunch room.   
  
Someone bumped into her. It was Hermione Granger!  
  
"Oh, pardon me, Lizzy." said Hermione. She walked off.  
  
"Hermione, wait!" said Lizzy.  
  
Hermione turned around.   
  
"Will you have lunch with me and Spongebob?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Sure." said Hermione.  
  
Hemione joined Spongebob and Lizzy. Together they headed toward the lunch room.  
  
"Hey, look!" said Spongebob.  
  
"What?" said Hermione.  
  
"It's my good buddy, Donald Duck!" said Spongebob. "Hey Donald!"  
  
Donald Duck was carrying his lunch box, too.   
  
"Yeah?" he said.  
  
"C'mon! Have lunch with us!" said Spongebob.  
  
"Okay." said Donald.  
  
"Hi Hermione. Hi Lizzy." Donald added.  
  
"Hi Donald." chorused Lizzy and Hermione.  
  
"So, what exactly is going on here? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to meet Spongebob Squarepants, Donald Duck, and especially my idol, Hermione Granger, but what are you guys doing in my school?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Hey, this is our school, too!" said Donald.  
  
"Since when do you guys go here?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Since today!" said Spongebob.  
  
Lizzy gave them all a very puzzled look.  
  
"Honestly, Spongebob, you could have done a better job explaining! Lizzy, let me explain. Your wish was for nice people, right?" said Hermione.  
  
Lizzy nodded.  
  
"Well, there weren't enough nice people that were 'free.' What that means is that there weren't enough nice people in the world that didn't have important things to do already. Big Bird heard of your wish and wanted to fufill it. So, he turned to his home, the the F Dimension, to find 'nice people'. Well, the F Dimension is where all of us" Hermione gestured to herself, Spongebob, and Donald. "live. It's the place where all book, comic book, t.v., and movie characters live. We all went to a school exactly like this in the F Dimension. Get it?" said Hermione.  
  
"Um, yeah. But, why is it called the F Dimension?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"F stands for Fantasy. Understand everything now?" said Hermione.  
  
"Yeah, I think so. Wow, Big Bird sure went out of his way to make me happy!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Well, you know, everyone in this dimension has a guardian from the F dimension, and vice versa. Big Bird is your guardian, and you are my guardian." said Hermione.  
  
"And what does a guardian do?" said Lizzy.  
  
"Grant wishes, protect from danger, generally make their lives wonderful. Basically, Big Bird is doing a pretty darn good job." said Hermione.  
  
"Well, if I'm your guardian, what do I have to do for you?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Not much right now. If I ever go back, you just have to ensure I get top marks and no unwanted confrontations from Slytherins." said Hermione.  
  
"The top marks thing is no problem. But I'll have to really try hard with the Slytherins part." said Lizzy.  
  
"Oh, when you're a guardian, these things are no problem." said Hermione.  
  
"Well, okay. If you say so. And, you are almost always right, so I have nothing to worry about." said Lizzy.  
  
"I'm not always right...." said Hermione.  
  
"Oh, stop being humble! You are always right!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Thanks...." said Hermione akwardly.  
  
"Hey, what about lunch?" asked Spongebob.  
  
"Let's go eat!" said Donald.  
  
"All right." said Hermione.  
  
"Are you coming, Lizzy?" asked Spongebob.  
  
"Of course!" said Lizzy.  
  
"This is great! Big Bird, wherever you are, thanks a lot!" said Lizzy, after she had sat down at a lunch table with Hermione, Spongebob, and Donald Duck.  
  
"Ooooh, look, it's Legolas Greenleaf!" said Hermione.  
  
"Oh, please." said Donald.  
  
"Don't just sit there, call him over here!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Why do I have to?" asked Hermione.  
  
"At least you two live in the same dimension!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Oh, all right." said Hermione.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Hey, Legolas!" called Hermione.  
  
Legolas turned around.  
  
"Come and sit with us!" said Hermione.  
  
Legolas walked over to the table that Hermione, Lizzy, Spongebob, and Donald were sitting at.  
  
"Move over, Lizzy!" said Hermione, shoving Lizzy out of her seat.  
  
"You can sit here, Legolas." said Hermione, batting her eyelashes.  
  
"Fine. I'm sitting here. You better remember who your guardian is, Hermione!" said Lizzy. She sat down on the other side of Legolas. 


	2. Lunch and pizza trouble

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own any of these characters. However, I do own the wierd, sometimes twisted connections between the characters. All of them came from my wierd, sometimes twisted brain. Got it?  
  
Setting: The Author's School.  
  
Characters:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Legolas Greenleaf (from Lord of the Rings)  
  
Donald Duck (A Classic Disney Character)  
  
Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)  
  
Dory (from the new Disney movie, Finding Nemo)  
  
Hello Kitty (Popular Japanese Cartoon Character)  
  
Hamtaro (from the Anime show, Hamtaro)  
  
Big Bird (from the T.V. show, Sesame Street)  
  
Spongebob (from the cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants)  
  
Barney (evil purple dinosaur that says super-dee-duper -_-)  
  
Spongebib Squarediaper (a creature of my own creation, Spongebob's little brother)  
  
Gollum (a.k.a. Smeagol, evil creature thingy in Lord of the Rings)  
  
The Author (writer of this story, known in this story as Lizzy.)  
  
The Author's Sister (Lizzy's sister, known in this story as Kitty, not to be confused with Hello Kitty.)  
  
Author's note: All right, since we all know that Lizzy's thoughts aren't mine, you can also conclude that I don't like all of the characters here. (*cough* Barney! *cough*)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"But that's part of a guardian's job! Making sure I'm happy!" exclaimed Hermione. She smiled at Legolas.  
  
"Well, you're certainly happy now..." said Lizzy.  
  
"Hey, wait a minute. Let me get this straight. We are in the N Dimension right now? You've met your guardian?" asked Legolas.  
  
"Yeah. Didn't you get the memo?" said Hermione.  
  
"From who?" asked Legolas.  
  
"Big Bird." said Hermione.  
  
"Oh. That memo. It completely slipped my mind.... Bad first impression for an Elf, isn't it?" said Legolas, turning to Lizzy.  
  
"Not at all. I know what you're like. But wait, Hermione, what is the N Dimension?" said Lizzy.  
  
"Oh, I forgot. It's your dimension. N stands for normal." said Hermione.  
  
"Oh, okay." said Lizzy.  
  
"So, I was wondering. Hermione, who are you guardian of?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"A two-year-old named Penelope. Not very hard." said Hermione.  
  
"Legolas, how about you?" questioned Lizzy.  
  
"Well, I am guardian of a girl named Rose, and my guardian is Penelope's twin, Petunia. Let's just say she's not a very good guardian yet." laughed Legolas.  
  
"Yeah, I can imagine. My guardian is Big Bird, and of course I am guardian of Hermione." said Lizzy.  
  
"Well, my guardian is Katie." said Spongebob.  
  
"My sister?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Yes." said Spongebob.  
  
"Who are you guardian of?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Well, they didn't assign me anybody...." said Spongebob.  
  
"Oh, I understand." said Lizzy.  
  
"And, I'm guardian of Petunia!" said Donald.  
  
"Okay, I'm starting to get confused. All I really need to know is that I have to help out Hermione, and if I have any problems, Big Bird will take care of them." said Lizzy.  
  
"Inter-dimension guardianship can be a confusing thing." said Hermione, nodding.  
  
"Classice example of Hermione!" laughed Legolas.  
  
Everything at lunch was going fine, except for the fact that nobody else was eating except for Lizzy. She turned to Hermione, who was staring at Legolas, drooling. Lizzy waved her hand in front of Hermione's face.   
  
"Hello.... N dimension to Hermione.... Hermione, this is N Dimension, do you read me?" said Lizzy.  
  
"What, Lizzy? Oh." said Hermione, as she realized what she was doing.  
  
"Hey, why aren't you guys eating? This is lunch! Eating is what you do at lunch!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Oh, well, they don't serve lembas in this cafeteria..... And I have no idea what pizza is, so I'm not even going to try it..." said Legolas.  
  
"Stupid elf prince. What, is pizza too hard on your stomach? You have to eat feather-light lembas all the time so you don't gain a pound?" said Donald.  
  
"As a matter of fact, no, Donald, I don't care about lembas! And, just to prove you wrong, I am going to go eat pizza now! I will be the first elf to ever eat pizza! You just watch!" said Legolas, and got in line to buy the cafeteria pizza.  
  
"Oh, he is a brave soul...." said Hermione, adoringly.  
  
"Oh, can it. I just want to see if he can eat pizza without going insane on us!" said Donald.  
  
"Somehow, I think that an elf who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, of orcs in hopes of defeating a Dark Lord can eat cafeteria pizza without freaking out, Donald." said Lizzy.  
  
"I still wanna see!" said Donald.  
  
"Ok, Donald, watch me!" said Legolas, as he sat down with his tray of pizza.  
  
Legolas took a bite of it.   
  
"Hey, this isn't bad!" said Legolas.  
  
"It's one of my favorite foods. In fact, it's a highly popular food here in the N dimension." said Lizzy.  
  
"I like it!" said Legolas, and he ate the rest of it.  
  
"Grr... I thought that he wasn't going to be able to eat it!" said Donald, angrily.  
  
Suddenly, a loud buzzer rang. Spongebob nearly jumped out of his skin, er..... Actually, he nearly jumped out of his pants, having no skin to jump out of.  
  
"What was that?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing. Just the buzzer. It means lunch is over." said Lizzy. 


	3. Art, Recess and Smeagol

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own any of these characters. However, I do own the wierd, sometimes twisted connections between the characters. All of them came from my wierd, sometimes twisted brain. Got it?  
  
Setting: The Author's School.  
  
Characters:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Will Turner (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Elizabeth Swann (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Legolas Greenleaf (from Lord of the Rings)  
  
Donald Duck (A Classic Disney Character)  
  
Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)  
  
Dory (from the new Disney movie, Finding Nemo)  
  
Hello Kitty (Popular Japanese Cartoon Character)  
  
Hamtaro (from the Anime show, Hamtaro)  
  
Big Bird (from the T.V. show, Sesame Street)  
  
Spongebob (from the cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants)  
  
Barney (evil purple dinosaur that says super-dee-duper too much and is too perky -_-)  
  
Spongebib Squarediaper (a creature of my own creation, Spongebob's little brother)  
  
Gollum (a.k.a. Smeagol, evil creature thingy that has a split personality disorder in Lord of the Rings)  
  
The Author (writer of this story, known in this story as Lizzy.)  
  
Author's note: All right, since we all know that Lizzy's thoughts aren't mine, you can also conclude that I don't like all of the characters here in this story. (*cough* Barney! *cough*)  
  
Things to keep in mind: Legolas and Will Turner are played by the same actor, the lovely talented Orlando Bloom. They look similar and have the same voice. They would automatically be friends in my mind. Smeagol refers to himself as "us" and there is a nice side and a mean side to him. He likes to sing songs about fish, has a low whisper of a voice, talks about the "precious" (the One Ring) a lot, and always has to have a "master".  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Lizzy, do you have Art next?" questioned Legolas, as he walked out of the cafeteria with Lizzy, Donald, Hermione, and Spongebob.  
  
"Yes, but why?" asked Lizzy.  
  
"Well, I do too. I was wondering if you would walk with me to class. I mean you don't have to or anything---" said Legolas.  
  
"Oh, I don't mind. It's quite all right." said Lizzy.  
  
"Shall we?" asked Legolas, holding out his arm for Lizzy.  
  
"Um, sure." said Lizzy, taking Legolas' arm.  
  
Lizzy turned back to Hermione. She looked rather hurt.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Hermione. Maybe you'll get your chance..." said Lizzy, feeling bad for Hermione.  
  
Suddenly, a bell rang.  
  
"What's that?" said Spongebob.  
  
"We going to be late for class!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Oh, no we wouldn't want that! We have art too!" said Hermione.  
  
"Well, let's go!" said Legolas.  
  
Legolas and Lizzy, arm and arm, starting running off for art class, with Spongebob, Hermione, and Donald trailing behind.  
  
"Ow!" said Spongebob.  
  
"What is it?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Oh, just my little brother. His name is Spongebib. He has art with us, too. But, we better get going. Class starts really soon!" said Spongebob.  
  
They arrived just in time, walking in the classroom just as the second bell rang. They walked over to an empty table.  
  
Legolas pulled out a chair for Lizzy.  
  
"Here you go, fair maiden." said Legolas.  
  
"Why thank you, kind sir." said Lizzy, blushing as she sat down.  
  
Spongebob, Spongebib, Hermione, and Donald also sat down.  
  
They began working on their projects as instructed on the blackboard.  
  
Suddenly, the door to the classroom burst open. At first, it looked as if the door opened itself, because they couldn't see anybody. Then they heard a voice muttering to itself. It was saying, "Master betrays usssss... No, no, master helpss usssss......"   
  
"Oh, great, what's he doing here?" asked Donald.  
  
"I think he's in this class...." said Legolas.  
  
"Oh, the poor thing. Let's let him sit with us." said Hermione.  
  
"NO!!!" said Donald.  
  
"Really, Donald. Control your temper!" said Lizzy, sounding more and more like Hermione as time went on.  
  
"Smeagol, come here and sit with us." said Hermione.  
  
"Master?" asked Smeagol.  
  
"Yes. I am your new master." said Hermione in a pitying, but controlling voice.  
  
"Master helps?" asked Smeagol.  
  
"Yes. Master helps." said Hermione.  
  
It was like the taming of Smeagol all over again. None of them knew that Hermione could have such control over Smeagol.  
  
"Now, where's Gollum?" asked Hermione.  
  
"We made him go away, we did. Smeagol is all by himself now!" said Smeagol.  
  
"Class, let's get back to work." said the art teacher.  
  
"Ok." they all chimed.  
  
Gollum took the chair next to Hermione and began working too. He sang to himself while he was working.  
  
"The swimming pool  
  
is nice and cool  
  
that is my wish  
  
to catch a fish  
  
so juicy SWEEET!"  
  
"Where have I heard that song before? Oh, yes, now I remember. I was watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers yesterday. He sings that in there." said Lizzy.  
  
"I would never have remembered that. You have an amazing memory. All I can do is the Amazing Mr. Absorbency!" said Spongebob.  
  
"Really, my memory isn't that good..." said Lizzy awkwardly.  
  
They all were having so much fun working on their art projects that the class was over before they knew it. The bell rang.  
  
"What class have we got now?" asked Spongebib.  
  
"Recess!" said Spongebob.  
  
"Wait, this school doesn't have recess...." said Lizzy.  
  
"It comes with the wish!" said Hermione.  
  
"Wow. I haven't had recess in a while!" said Lizzy.  
  
"Let'ssss go!" said Smeagol.  
  
"Yes, Smeagol, we can go now." said Hermione.  
  
"Hey, look, there's my friend Will Turner!" said Legolas.  
  
"Did somebody call my name?" said Will.  
  
"Yes, come over here!" said Legolas.  
  
"Oh, Legolas. How are things?" asked Will.  
  
"Fine. Have you met Lizzy? She's the one who started this whole ordeal." said Legolas.  
  
"Oh, hello. I wondered who the lovely lady was... Oh, I forgot. Legolas, have you met Elizabeth? I'm sure Lizzy knows her, though." said Will.  
  
Lizzy blushed as Will said this.  
  
"No, I don't believe I have." said Legolas.  
  
"Elizabeth! Come and meet one of my good friends!" said Will.  
  
Elizabeth walked over.  
  
"Elizabeth, this is my good friend, Legolas Greenleaf. Legolas, this is Elizabeth Swann." said Will.  
  
"It's a pleasure." said Legolas. He bowed.  
  
"Yes. Pleased to meet you." said Elizabeth, curtsying.  
  
"Time for recess!" said Spongebib.  
  
The list of friends kept growing and growing as Will and Elizabeth ran into their friend, Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
"Everyone, this is Jack Sparrow." said Elizabeth.  
  
"Um, it's Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow." said Jack.  
  
"Oh, sorry." said Elizabeth.  
  
Lizzy, Spongebob, Hermione, Donald Duck, Legolas, Spongebib, Smeagol, Will, Elizabeth, and Jack all walked outside for recess.  
  
As soon as they got outside, a few small creatures ran up to Lizzy. They were Hamtaro, Dory, and Hello Kitty. In turn, they all said hello to Lizzy and introduced themselves to members of the group that didn't already know them.   
  
They all had a jolly good time, talking, and telling secrets and the like to each other, but little did they know that a large purple moron was eavesdropping.... 


	4. Levitating Purple Morons

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own any of these characters. However, I do own the wierd, sometimes twisted connections between the characters. All of them came from my wierd, sometimes twisted brain. Got it?  
  
Setting: The Author's School.  
  
Characters:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Will Turner (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Elizabeth Swann (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Legolas Greenleaf (from Lord of the Rings)  
  
Donald Duck (A Classic Disney Character)  
  
Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)  
  
Harry Potter (from Harry Potter)  
  
Dory (from the new Disney movie, Finding Nemo)  
  
Hello Kitty (Popular Japanese Cartoon Character)  
  
Hamtaro (from the Anime show, Hamtaro)  
  
Big Bird (from the T.V. show, Sesame Street)  
  
Spongebob (from the cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants)  
  
Barney (evil purple dinosaur that says super-dee-duper too much and is too perky -_-)  
  
Spongebib Squarediaper (a creature of my own creation, Spongebob's little brother)  
  
Gollum (a.k.a. Smeagol, evil creature thingy that has a split personality disorder in Lord of the Rings)  
  
The Author (writer of this story, known in this story as Lizzy.)  
  
Author's note: All right, since we all know that Lizzy's thoughts aren't mine, you can also conclude that I don't like all of the characters here in this story. (*cough* Barney! *cough*)  
  
Things to keep in mind: Legolas and Will Turner are played by the same actor, the lovely talented Orlando Bloom. They look similar and have the same voice. They would automatically be friends in my mind. Smeagol refers to himself as "us" and there is a nice side and a mean side to him. He likes to sing songs about fish, has a low whisper of a voice, talks about the "precious" (the One Ring) a lot, and always has to have a "master". Barney, well.... we all know what he's like. Don't expect him to be around very long! Muahaha....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hi everybody! That's just super-dee-duper!" said the certain purple moron as he jumped out from behind a tree.  
  
"Holy crap!" said Elizabeth, rather loudly.   
  
"Where did he come from?" asked Spongebob.  
  
"Oh no... the large purple moron known as Barney!" whispered Lizzy to Legolas.  
  
"Yes. Ignore him. Maybe he'll go away!" said Legolas.  
  
But, it was too late. Smeagol jumped out ahead of them all and said, "Master?"  
  
Hermione, being like her normal self, figured out very quickly that this couldn't turn into anything good. She ran out behind Smeagol, grabbed him, and said, "No, Smeagol. I am master."  
  
"Oh, ok." said Smeagol.  
  
"What are we all up to now?" asked You-Know-Who.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked Spongebob.  
  
"I just wanted to check up on my super-dee-duper pals!" said Barney.  
  
"We're fine. Go away!" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Yeah, scram!" said Hamtaro.  
  
"Move it!" chourused Hello Kitty and Dory.  
  
"No! I wanna stay with my best buddies. I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..." said the evil one.  
  
"Stop that wretched singing! A song should be lovely, not horrid!" said Legolas.  
  
"Go away! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...." said Dory.  
  
Suddenly, they heard a rustling noise coming from the bushes behind them.  
  
"What was that?" asked Elizabeth.  
  
"Don't worry! We'll all be safe if we stick together!" said Barney.  
  
The person in the bushes jumped out, and shouted, "Feliz Navidad!"  
  
It was Lizzy. Everyone looked at her very strangely.  
  
"Sorry guys. I thought it'd be funny..." said Lizzy.  
  
Hamtaro chuckled.  
  
They were all about to continue screaming at Barney, when another person appeared.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa!" said the person.  
  
It was Harry Potter.  
  
Suddenly, Barney started levitating.  
  
"What the... Put me down! You horrible, ugly, nasty, disgusting, wretched children!" said Barney.  
  
"Well, well. I guess he's not as nice as he looks now, is he?" whispered Donald.  
  
"I guess not." whispered Lizzy.  
  
"Who knew?" asked Dory.  
  
"Let's get rid of him forever!" said Harry.  
  
Harry performed some odd form of the vanishing spell to make Barney go away.  
  
"That's it. He's finally left our dimension." said Harry.  
  
Lizzy cheered and clapped.  
  
"What now?" she asked.  
  
"Um, I'm not sure." said Jack.  
  
"But YOU are supposed to be a fearsome pirate!" said Donald.  
  
"Actually, all I do is lie on a beach all day, drinking rum..." said Jack.  
  
"Quite right, he does. And I found out the hard way..." said Elizabeth.  
  
"MASTER!!!" said Smeagol suddenly.  
  
"Yes, Smeagol?" said Hermione.  
  
"HE'S BACK!" said Smeagol.  
  
"Who's back?" said Hermione, thinking it was Barney.  
  
"ME!!!" said a nasty voice.  
  
"I thought I got rid of you..." said Smeagol.  
  
"You can't get rid of Gollum, hobbitses. Learn it. Quickly." said the voice.  
  
"Oh no. Gollum." said Hermione.  
  
"Huh?" said Spongebib.  
  
"Oh, shut up you blubbering sponge!" said Gollum.  
  
"HEY!" said Spongebob and Spongebib, in unison.  
  
"I think we need to get rid of that dude." said Lizzy.  
  
"You better believe it." said Legolas.  
  
"But how do get rid of a moron like Gollum?" said Elizabeth.  
  
"Trust me. There are ways..." said Will. 


	5. Smeagol's Amnesia

Disclaimer: What do you think I own, huh? Huh? Exactly. Nothing.  
  
Setting: The Author's School.  
  
Characters:  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Will Turner (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Elizabeth Swann (from Pirates of the Caribbean)  
  
Legolas Greenleaf (from Lord of the Rings)  
  
Donald Duck (A Classic Disney Character)  
  
Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)  
  
Harry Potter (from Harry Potter)  
  
Dory (from the new Disney movie, Finding Nemo)  
  
Hello Kitty (Popular Japanese Cartoon Character)  
  
Hamtaro (from the Anime show, Hamtaro)  
  
Big Bird (from the T.V. show, Sesame Street)  
  
Spongebob (from the cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants)  
  
Barney (evil purple dinosaur that says super-dee-duper too much and is too perky -_-)  
  
Spongebib Squarediaper (a creature of my own creation, Spongebob's little brother)  
  
Gollum (a.k.a. Smeagol, evil creature thingy that has a split personality disorder in Lord of the Rings)  
  
Pippin Took (only the best hobbit in Lord of the Rings)  
  
The Author (writer of this story, known in this story as Lizzy.)  
  
Author's note: The torture seems never to end, right? Well, just keep reading and you'll see...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I am never going to go away!" said Gollum.  
  
"I think you are." said Hamtaro.  
  
"Hey, look." said Legolas.  
  
"What?" said Lizzy.  
  
"It's Pippin!" said Legolas.  
  
"PIPPIN?!?!?!?! WHERE?????" said Lizzy.  
  
"Over there." said Legolas.  
  
As soon as Lizzy spotted Pippin, she ran over to him and tackled him.  
  
"Ah-" Pippin tried to say.  
  
Lizzy realized that she was about three times the size of Pippin and that she was about to suffocate him.  
  
"Ohmigosh. I'm sorry." said Lizzy.  
  
"It's okay." said Pippin is his awesome Scottish accent.  
  
"Gollum's being a pain. Will you help?" said Legolas.  
  
"I'll try." said Pippin, but he got sidetracked looking at a large hill that just suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"What's that?" asked Spongebib.  
  
"Who knows?" said Will.  
  
Smeagol was running towards it, all the while being yelled at by Gollum.  
  
"You wretched, nasty hobbit! HORRID HOBBITSES!"  
  
"Well, let's not just stand here, follow him!" said Hermione.  
  
"Good idea, Hermione." said Harry.  
  
Smeagol was already at the top of the hill by the time everyone got there. Gollum was telling him to jump off it.  
  
"I don't want to..." whined Smeagol.  
  
"I don't care if you want to, just do it!" said Gollum.  
  
Finally, Smeagol gave in and jumped off the hill.  
  
"MASTER!" cried Smeagol.  
  
"Smeagol..." said Hermione.  
  
He hit the ground below with terrible thud.  
  
"Well, we better go see if he's okay..." said Donald grudgingly.  
  
They all ran back down the hill.  
  
Smeagol was unconsious.  
  
"Here. This'll help." said Dory.  
  
Dory was holding a large bucket of water. (Don't even ask me how she mananged that.)  
  
She splashed Smeagol with it.  
  
Hermione leaned over Smeagol, as he regained consciousness.  
  
"Are you okay? Is Gollum gone?" she said.  
  
"Yes." said Smeagol.  
  
"Come on, Smeagol. Recess is almost over." said Elizabeth.  
  
"Who's Smeagol?" said Smeagol.  
  
"You are." said Lizzy.  
  
"No I'm not. I'm Merry." said Smeagol.  
  
"Pip! How are you?" said Smeagol.  
  
"Um, I'm fine.... Merry." said Pippin.  
  
"He must have amnesia. Very odd. I say just go along with it." said Legolas.  
  
A very loud bell rang.  
  
"Oh. Recess is over." said Lizzy. Everyone followed her as she went inside, except for Smeagol.  
  
"Come along Merry." shouted Pippin.  
  
"I'm coming, Pip." said Smeagol. He ran and caught up with everyone else.  
  
After recess, they had to split up. They were in different classes.  
  
Smeagol, Harry, Hermione, Will, and Elizabeth were in Gym.  
  
Jack, Donald, and Dory had Technology.  
  
Pippin and Lizzy had a study hall.  
  
Hello Kitty, Hamtaro, Spongebob and Spongebib had Band. (Hello Kitty was a drummer, Hamtaro played the clarinet, and Spongebob and Spongebib played the saxophone.) 


End file.
